Something supernatural has shifted the course of my whole life. Something so radical that I can only attribute it to the Holy Ghost. I am a new person who fears nothing and is a new vessel of outpouring love and empathy. All of this change has made me turn from hate to love in the most beautiful way and the story of how I got there is one I want to share.
After following Christ for officially one year, I felt as if there was a stirring in the fabric of my soul; which was wild considering I was coming onto The World Race that exact time. I arrived at training camp expecting such a new way of living and my expectations were shot out of proportions. I was expecting feeling the Holy Spirit, praying, new friends, learning, and ministry; but that was the latter side of my experience.
CONFIRMATION
As a child, I always yearned for the existence of God to be undeniable and evident so I can know for certainty that he “loves me”. Little did i know that he was answering my prayers, just not WHEN I wanted him to. There were two main prayers I wanted him to answer for this confirmation I sought. First was speaking, not JUST audible but through other people, and the only standard was that it had to be so extremely molded for me that he is just undeniably real. Second was experience, not by God but by demons. If I was experienced by demonic oppression and or encounters then I would, without a grain of doubt, know that God exists and “loves me”. Surprise! He did, and so much more than I ever expected. He blew my expectations for his existence out of this world and I am so grateful for a Father that would do that.
PROPHECY
Prophecy was never on my list of wants or needs when it came to my walk with God, but it exemplified his intentionality with our relationship.
Shania, who was on a semester mission trip, started a conversation with me in the first couple of days at training camp because she felt like the Lord was highlighting me during worship. So we built off from there and eventually landed on my testimony. From my testimony I just brought up how I am an adoptee and that it was always so hard not having a family that I can call my blood. And then she encouraging me with love and truth, and in that I specifically remember her saying this phrase, “during your race, you are going to surrender more than you will ever understand”. That stood out. A goal. A revelation. And in that moment i wouldn’t understand what God was moving in my life, but he was setting up my path.
VISIONS
I always was a skeptic, still am; but i’ve experienced the first fruits of visions and memories singlehandedly. It’s something only God could ever possibly do and i’ve come to accept that.
Backstory, when everyone went to go evangelize, we were put into teams and my team was my friend Parker Fulk, our leader Drew, and I. We all met up at a square next to a restaurant before splitting up for ministry to pray and get a game plan. Our team was assigned to go to the right, and so we did and we came across a homeless man named CJ. We wanted to share Jesus with this man, but he was already very knowledgeable and revealed his walls against his relationship with Jesus. As we got comfortable in our ministry situation, i had an out of body experience of a dream i had when i was extremely young of that exact moment. I knew immediately that it was from God and i asked internally what i should do with that information. God spoke to me and said to do as the dream played out to be. In summary i did, and we (not including CJ) had a fruitful conversation of love and open mindedness to what he had for us.
OPPRESSION
I never knew that my prayer for a demonic experience would come to fruition. i always wanted it but now i want it even more. I experienced it after my purpose and what makes me shine came about.
We were having a session sermon on spiritual warfare during training camp. during the whole thing, I was feeling deeply, and I mean deeply convicted of the sins that absolutely no one knew about. My heart was racing, palms sweaty, and fidgety. I knew I needed to confess. Confession is strong and it breaks even the strongest strong holds. So that was the plan for me, I was going to confess my deepest darkest secrets to people I could trust. But once I was on my way to the analyzing group session with my squad, something was off. I was being oppressed by something i couldn’t understand; I didn’t have control of my body. So my squad leader Ethan prayed over me and cast out whatever had a foot hold in my body. I had control again. Ethan spoke to the oppressor and I answered on behalf of it. In summary, it wanted to hide whatever was in my soul. It was extremely hesitant on sharing what it was so it kept saying it was too much to say. Finally it just spit out one word, beautiful, and disappeared.
If I could use one word to describe how this made me feel it would be hungry. I am now more hungry for the Lord than i ever have been. I am now more hungry for those encounters to free people of oppression. Hungry for that purpose that was so beautiful that it had to be hidden.
TRANSFORMATION
I always loved the verse “God, create in me a new heart” but i never fully got a grasp on what that meant, what that meant in general and for me. Now i do.
The hebrew word “בָּרָ֣א” pronounced ba-ra, means to create. Interestingly enough, this specific word is only used in the context of God creating. So God is the only one that can ba-ra. Now here’s where it gets interesting, in Psalms it talks about God “ba-ra”ing in me a new heart. Only God can make a new heart in me. And he definitely has beyond my comprehension. He’s given me only love and grace, something i didn’t deserve but now he calls me son. He wants me to call him Abba and i am still learning how to love him more.
Thank you Jesus for redemption and your love for us. Amen
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